Pumpkin Patch

Craig: We should dress the pets up like pumpkins and tie them together.

Me: Why?

Craig: So we'd have a pumpkin patch.

Racist

Craig: I am really good at racing. That makes me a racist.

Apples to Oranges

Craig: I hate it when people use the phrase 'apples to oranges.' Of course you can compare them. There's weight, sugar content, or preference. They are very comparable items. Really, it should be 'comparing apples to religious freedom in Soviet Russia.'

A menorah made out of oranges, better not to compare it to anything.

Clubbing

On a Friday night:

Me: You want to go clubbing?

Craig: Baby seals?