Your Other Wife

Craig is playing a Fallout game.

Craig: And I can get drugs, but I can't take them home because my wife will get upset.

Me: Ummm... me or do you have a wife in the game?

Craig: I have a wife in the game.

Me: Oh good. I would have told you to take the drugs.

Rescue Me

While watching The Princess Bride.

Me: Would you rescue me if I was kidnapped by criminals trying to start a war?

Craig: It depends. Could I poison them with Iocaine powder?

Me: What do you mean 'it depends'? And what do you mean 'could you'?

BJ's Party For Two

Craig and I are watching a commercial for the BJ's restaurant.

Commercial: Come in for a BJ's party for two.

We can't stop giggling.

Craig's a Zombie

Craig cut his finger today and got a bit of blood on his shirt.

It was funny because he's wearing his zombie shirt.

Making it real.

You Were There

Craig: I was just thinking about a Wizard Of Oz style sex dream. And you were there, and you were there, and you were there...

Migraines

Me: Would you get a lobotomy if it meant you never got another migraine?

Craig: No.

Me: What about your hand?

Craig: Would I get a robot one?

Dinner

Craig: Does red or white wine go with Mac & Cheese?

Brandie: I think it depends on the cheese, but probably white.